The Stigma of Being a Housewife

(Image: Roulette Vintage)

Sorry about the Jezebel-overload today, but I just saw this story about The Stigma of Being a Housewife, and had to post my comment. It was interesting to read the comment thread and see so many people with almost feelings of disgust toward housewives. I know it’s out there, I used to be one, but I think it’s worth discussing. The article is here, and is definitely worth a read. (Orignally posted at The Sisterhood)

Below is my comment:

I spent the majority of my life terrified of becoming “just a housewife” or “just a mom” because I saw it happening to all my high school dropout teen-mom friends. I promised myself I would finish school, have a career, and never, ever rely on someone else.

When I married my husband a year ago, I was the primary breadwinner, which made me hold my head up high and kept a smirk on my face. I was working 55-70 hours a week, but hey, I was wifey big bucks.

Then I got laid off. I’ve been unemployed for only one month, but have seen my domestic side BLOSSOM. It’s so strange because, suddenly, all the things I had disdain for before—cooking, cleaning, etc.—are suddenly things that I really enjoy. It’s been fun replacing all our “convenient” chemical-laden cleaners with eco-friendly, homemade ones. It’s been fun being the person who brings macarons or cake balls to social events. (And yes, it’s been fun blogging about it.)

I think what’s missing in this discussion is the fact that, unless you are a farmer, doctor, baker, teacher, whatever, you are extremely alienated from your labor. I spent a year of my life toiling away at a job that, in the end, felt I was disposable. House work, cooking, housewifery, whathaveyou, is un-alienated labor. That’s why some people find it so rewarding. It feels good to have tangible results, it feels good to feed people.

I’m starting a new job on Wednesday, but I made sure I found a part time job that pays well, so I can still be the housewife I’ve blossomed into, while maintaining my ability to be wifey big bucks. I don’t think that makes me anti-feminist at all. I think it makes me human.