Hey, Waitress

I never really had a nickname until college. People just called me Jessica, and when I moved to Austin, I shortened my name to Jess. I was bestowed a few nicknames by new friends in college: Beast, Jess-Sex-Fayce (I never quite understood that one,) and Jestabeast. When B & I started dating, I received even more nicknames: Cake, Babycakes, Cakey (you see a theme).

I’ve been waitressing for almost half my life, starting when I was thirteen, and when faced with the expenses of living on my own in Austin, I returned to my old safety net of the service industry. My reemergence on the restaurant scene earned me a new nickname: Waitress. Or, alternatively: “Hey, Waitress,” “Excuse Me, Miss.” and “Hey, Sorry.”

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Goal of the Week: Read The Omnivore’s Dilemma

I’ve been wanting to read this book for a long time. I loved In Defense of Food, and when I walked into Half Price Books on Sunday, I had fully intended to buy Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer, but this was in the display when I walked through the door. It was fate! Unfortunately, what I purchased was the “young readers edition,” so there’s lots of diagrams and pictures of sad cows, but eh, the large print is more incentive to read it.

What’s your biggest goal this week?

Goal Status: Detoxify

(source)

I would say, overall, the detox diet was a success. My one transgression (we’ll get to the early quit in a minute) was a chai latte on Monday morning because my editor brought it — and I didn’t want to be rude! :) (Original post with the detox diet)

The first couple of days were great. I wasn’t hungry at all, if anything, I was tired of having to eat so often! I had to urinate constantly. That was a little annoying (being on deadline and all) but I knew it was because my body was expelling all those nasty toxins.

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Goal of the Week: Detoxify!

(Image: Stock.xchng)

I’ve been feeling very sluggish and tired lately. I can’t say I know for sure that it’s because of toxins in my body, but between the allergy meds, the week of SXSW take-out, and the SWSX drinking, I’m feeling less than fantastic.

So, I gave myself the goal this week of detoxifying with diet and exercise.

I chose the GOOP detox plan set up by Gwenyth Paltrow’s doctor, then tweaked it to better fit my budget. (Still, groceries were twice what they normally are — don’t get me started on why healthy food is so expensive, or this might turn into a rant.)

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Saturday’s Walk for Choice

It was strange to feel the power of a group firsthand.

I don’t think we’ll make a dent in the crazy Texas political world, but it was a special moment when our voices were reverberating through the Congress business district, demanding our rights. It feels good to take action!

Here are some of the photos I took, along with a couple of videos. (I sound far less effeminate than I think I do!)

And a photo of me in action, taken by Aundrea King. (I’m on the left, with the sunglasses … and that’s a camera in my pocket.)

On Being a “Stay-at-Home” Anything

There was an article published on Brokelyn this week called “How to Survive as a SAHG (Stay-at-Home Girlfriend),” which drew the ire of many a woman. If you read the article, you’ll know why, but in case you didn’t, here’s the summary:

Girl and boy live together, girl gets laid off. Instead of laying around the house all day and watching television, girl decides to wake up early, cook breakfast, clean the house, cook dinner, spend time with girlfriends day-drinking, makes herself sexually available at all times for her guy. Loves it, but knows it’s a small pit-stop on the way to the rest of her career.

Phew. The article itself is, I’m assuming, supposed to be just a little bit of a satire. It’s a little “my man” this, “my man” that for me. That said, it’s an honest article about something that a lot of people — women and men — are facing right now: what to do when you’re unemployed? It was met with less-than pleasant reviews.

It can be hard being unemployed. I did it for three months, and basically followed the same pattern as the SAHG writer. I became Julia Child, Betty Draper, and Martha Stewart over night. I washed my house from top to bottom, cooked everything in the house, and took up a new hobby: eating the cupcakes I couldn’t stop baking. I got experimental with food, made my own cleaners, painted furniture I found on the side of the road. I began to feel accomplished when I cooked a nice meal. I liked the feeling of having a clean home.

But, like the SAHG writer, I know that this momentary experience of housewifedom isn’t for me, it’s a fun pit-stop on the road to (whatever the hell it is) I end up doing. That being said, I don’t find it backwards or anti-feminist to enjoy housewifedom, the way that some of the feminist bloggers and commenters were expressing.

I see a new domestic movement happening in this country that I find really exciting. Suddenly, these women who have been told all their lives that they have to want a career, or they’re not on the feminist bandwagon, are finding satisfaction in the very things their mothers and grandmothers wanted freedom from. A step backwards? No. We went out and got jobs and realized, “heh, this isn’t the end-all-be-all, and I want to feel connected to my work.” The myth that a woman isn’t a feminist unless she tethers herself to a company is no more empowering than the myth that a woman can’t be a feminist if she tethers herself to the home. A tether is a tether, and working for something that isn’t your own can be dis-empowering, period. I experienced it.

So, to the idea that a return to the home is somehow a step backward, I say, no. To conform to the idea that a woman who stays home cannot be a feminist is, inherently, anti-feminist. Wasn’t feminism supposed to be about choice? So why are we hating on those who choose to stay home? Or have children?

There are people in Washington (and Texas, and Georgia, and South Dakota, for that matter) who want to take away women’s rights. Instead of sitting around judging each others’ life decisions for proper “feminism,” why don’t we play nice and protect those rights that our mothers and grandmothers fought for?

I’m attending the Walk for Choice this Saturday in Downtown Austin, check to see if your city is hosting a walk.

Workout Inspiration – Etsy Finds

Last week I started a new workout plan, after over a month “off.” I had been very successful before our ski trip in staying disciplined and getting toned, but after the trip I returned to my slothful ways and got out of shape.

I found some Etsy items that could help me get more inspired about my new regiment. I always feel more inspired when I accessorize.

(left-to-right: Non-Slip Grey and Black Absolutely Dangerous Headband by AC Designs, Dark Blue Polka Dot Bermudas by Toda Boa, “Strong” Sweatshirt by Imagine, Weekly Exercise and Fitness Log/Journal PDF by Surprisingly Organized, Whipped Body Butter for Muscle Aches by Sweet Soap Treats, Yoga Mat Blanket by Sam’s Crochet)

The plan is pretty simple: 30 minutes of cardio in the morning on weekdays, then a strength training workout three days a week (I’m using the one hundred push ups, two hundred sit ups, and two hundred squats plans again), and long bike rides on the weekends. I figured if I could at least get in some cardio everyday, it would make a huge difference. So, I put together a 30-minute iPod playlist and walked across the street to the park (which has a track around it).

Here’s what my workout plan looks like every week:

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Why I Thrift.

(Image: On the Edge)

When I was a kid, my mom would drag us an hour-and-a-half  to go “garage sale-ing” in Arlington, Texas. I think the reasoning behind the long drive was that rich people in Arlington were having these fantastically awesome garage sales, whereas the peasant people of Dublin, Texas were having craptastic yard sales, full of clothing they’d purchased at the same Walmart and JC Penneys we lived next to. We, along with another family, would make the trek in our silver Toyota van, a bullet-like vehicle with memories of cookie crumbs and interstate travel, lunches packed.

When we would reach our destination — the booming metropolis that is Arlington, Texas — we would be faced with 8-foot fold out tables covered in 1994’s favorite items from the GAP, and occasionally, a relic or two from The Limited Too, what I was really after.

I remember liking garage sales when I was a kid, because it was a part of the way we lived, and our friends shared the same economic situation we were in. There were some “rich” kids at church, but for the most part, everyone in Dublin, Texas was in the same boat. Not quite poverty-line material, but certainly not wealthy. I didn’t feel embarrassed about the origins of my clothing until probably middle school, when I decided to start working for $6.50 an hour at our friend’s coffee shop. (I know, child labor laws and all that, but at 12-13 I was very capable of making cappuccinos.)

By high school, I had sworn off garage sales, and would bury my mother’s garage sale finds in my closet, never to again see the light of day. I didn’t want to look poor, and besides, I have a job now. I paid for most of my own clothes through high school, favoring places like Wet Seal and PacSun. I wanted desperately to fit in with all the other girls in their Limited shirts, Buckle jeans, and Gadzooks hoodies.

Then, towards the end of my high school career, I went through a serious “Project Runway” phase, sewing my own purses, making pillow case skirts, and dreaming of a fashion design career after attending the University of Texas.

After I got to Austin, I realized pretty fast that fashion design would not be a “professional” part of my future, (too much math!), and so I went back to my consumerist ways, having recently discovered Diesel Jeans.

I don’t know how much money I’ve spent on clothes over the last seven years since I’ve lived in Austin, the number has to be huge. Not only did I nurse a serious obsession with $300 jeans, but I lived, worked, and played within walking distance of two boutiques and an Urban Outiftters. I even got into the practice of buying new clothes, just to avoid the laundromat. It was pretty ridiculous for someone who wasn’t making that much money waitressing, but I got by.

And then I got engaged.

We knew we would be paying for the wedding, so we really buckled down on our expenses. My bi-weekly bikini waxes and daily UO sale purchases were going to have to go. No more would I be free to spend money, my boyfriend’s blind eye turned. We were going to have a join bank account. And I was going to hate it.

We got through the Wedding Year generally unscathed, despite racking up quite a bit of credit card debt to pay for everything. I finally got a decent (paying) job, so we paid those off in no time.

But the frugality stuck, and I found myself cruising the neighborhood on Saturday mornings, marking the calendar for trash pick up days in the nearby neighborhoods, hoping to find something worth picking up. I started making garage sales a part of my life again, and spent hours scouring the racks at Goodwill for a gem.

After realizing I could live frugally and still be happy, I was able to sit back and look at the real-life effects of shopping with abandon at places like Forever 21 and Gadzooks. I couldn’t justify buying in to the consumerist myth that “throw away” fashion is “safe because it’s affordable,” or that I needed to buy the cutest and newest to be happy. I started to learn about the reasons I could buy a new coat at the mall for the low, low price of $19.99, and the human cost involved in making such a purchase.

Now, because of this change in the way I’m thinking about consumerism, I’m finding my way back to the “garage sale-r” I grew up as, someone who doesn’t see second-hand as trash, but rather a way of recycling and bringing new life to an item. I know my limitations: buy all fair-trade, American-made, or fair-labor products is incredibly expensive, and while I wish I could do more to support those industries, I’m afraid I’d be broke if I tried to populate my closet that way.

That’s not to say that I never buy new, of course I do, but when I can, I spend Saturdays at garage sales, I go to the dollar days at my local thrift stores, I revamp clothes I’ve had for a long time, or I buy hand made goods. I know that that clothes I am wearing are every bit as good as the day they were pieced together, and I’m recycling, too. That makes me feel good, no matter what I wear.

For more information:

The Story of Stuff - an introduction (in cartoon form) about where stuff comes from, and where it ends up.

Good Guide - This website doesn’t have any rating system for clothing manufacturers, but it’s helpful when looking for home and personal care products.

Sweat Free Shopping Guide – A list of companies who don’t use sweatshop labor.

National Green Pages – Another database on green shopping.

Aunt Jean’s Barrel – Some thrift store inspiration, for the newbs.

Twice Upon a Time – More inspiration from blogland.